Listen, I know that everyone has their own beliefs. Some people believe in God, some people don’t. Some people believe in ghosts, some people don’t. Some people believe in aliens, some people don’t. And so on, and so forth. I don’t care what anyone believes in. Their beliefs and feelings are theirs, not mine and there’s nothing I can do to change them, even though I might feel like the world would be a beautiful place if everyone was like me. But seriously, believe what you want!

Whereas I feel that way about most things, the one issue I can’t look past is global warming. People believe this faux religion and are being guided by the self satisfaction they get because they think the little things they do are saving the world. Well, I hate to break it to you, global warming crowd, but that light bulb you use now, and that casket on wheels you drive, and that house hold cleaner that you use that got a new “all green bottle” isn’t going to do one single thing to save this world.

But don’t tell that to the 85-year-old American who just gave up his search for the Loch Ness Monster.

LEGENDARY Nessie hunter Robert Rines is giving up his search for the monster after 37 years.

After almost four decades of fruitless expeditions, he admitted: “Unfortunately, I’m running out of age.”

World War II veteran Robert has devoted almost half his life to scouring Loch Ness.

He started in 1971. The following year, he watched a 25ft-long hump with the texture of elephant skin gliding through the water.

Despite having hundreds of sonar contacts over the years, the trail has since gone cold and Rines believes that Nessie may be dead, a victim of global warming.

I believe in God, I am a Christian. I know there are wack jobs that call themselves Christians and I have no excuse for them and it doesn’t change the way I believe or how I feel and my convictions. But dude, you morons (no offense) who believe in global warming have this guy on your side. Someone who thinks that the Loch Ness Monster—THE LOCH NESS MONSTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!—was killed by global warming. It’s time to abandon ship.